| 10th December |
Turkey Trot
The weather was against us on my first official engagement with no golf for our 9 Hole Competition, but that didn't deter us from enjoying our Meal, Cryptic Carols, Random True/False & Picture Quizzes.
Thank you to all my helpers and advice from the Committee & to Linda for reading our Mr & Mrs Right gift exchange game & Tracey for writing An Ode to the Turkey Trot & Flo for reading it out.
An Ode to the Turkey Trot
A Story For Ali
I'll tell you a story, about my dear friend.
It's a bit of a small one,
No beginning, nor end.
See, this little chap,
Is so precious to me,
He lives in my golf bag,
And rests on a tee.
I have many, just like him,
But, they all let me down.
I just get to like them,
But, they don't stick around.
They bury their heads in the mud, behind trees,
And some will then hide, digging under the leaves.
I tell them 'go straight', but they duck, and they dive.
They just, let me down, it's perfection I strive.
So, I'll tell you this story, about my dear ball,
It's what I remember, It's what I recall.
T'was the night before 'Play offs',
And all through the house,
not a creature was stirring,
Not even a mouse.
I was lying in bed, all warm and alone,
But was rudely disturbed by a noise from my phone.
A text had been sent which just simply read,
that
'The course will be closed, tomorrow instead'.
I was so disappointed as I wanted to play,
but here in my bed, I just had to lay.
My mind began wandering, as I drifted to sleep,
But I kept waking up, so just counted some sheep.
Soon morning had come, and I had readied myself,
Excited to play, grabbed my ball from the shelf.
I was off to the club, with all fingers crossed.
I was wanting to play, at any old cost.
I was meeting the ladies, and we would decide,
Was it onto the course, or just go inside?
But as I arrived it was not very nice,
The course was all covered in
Snow, frost and ice.
We wanted to play, but it made us think twice!
'Well, we're going out', I heard from the crowd,
Someone had said it, but not very loud.
Then, all of a sudden, it got very muggy,
Then out from the mist, Babs and Norma, in a buggy?
Well, we're going out they shouted again,
Then off down the fairway, like two naggy hens!
And, as they went off on their Merry old way.
With their backs to us all,
You could just hear them say.
'Come on Flo, come on Ali, come on Sue, let's get mixen.
Come on Deb, come on Linda, get a grip, let's get fixen.
Just grab Steph, just grab Liz and all that are there,
So, we all ran on down, with not even a care.
I heard Margaret shout, 'I'll do the timing',
Just out of her mouth, and not even rhyming!
The Academy Ladies, they just took one look.
'We're not going out, not by hook nor by crook'!
We all hit our shots and off we all went,
All had agreed, this was money well spent.
We were slipping and sliding but we didn't care.
We were all Woodham Ladies, with wind in our hair.
We were hooking and slicing and placing our mats,
And some of us played like a right set of 't....twit's.....
But we didn't worry, not even a snip,
And, Linda Knight looked like a right little clip!
But onwards and upwards we all marched along,
While 'Craggsy' was singing her favourite song.
Then as we were walking, I swore I saw Cupid.
But Maggie replied, 'well, she must think we're stupid!
And some of the newbies were having a go,
And looking across, I swear I saw Jo.
But then she went in, she was off down the hall.
She'd hit a great shot, but was it her ball????
But when she returned, she did so with Jenny,
They'd both just popped in, they'd both spent a penny.
But wait, there's two missing,
They seem nowhere near.
It's Pat and Anita, they've gone for a beer!
They've just headed in, they needed a rake,
No, not bloomin likely, they better not mate!
I don't think they have, their story's a fake,
They've been to see Vikki, they wanted some cake!
Well Janice and Janet, and Joanne too,
Were all heading in, I thought that you knew.
And Cheryl and Chris, both lagging behind.
Are they going in, are they changing their mind?
We don't really know, but it's starting to rain.
And the weather's turned chilly,
A real bloomin pain!
So what shall we do, we're going to slow?
We'll ask Norma and Bab's, surely someone must know.
We'll all head back in, it's getting too dark.
And, it's not the right day for a walk in the park.
And everyone says that it's getting too cold.
And Tracey replied that 'we're all getting old'.
So, we turned on our heels and hurried along,
With Craggsie still singing her favourite song
We got back to our cars and got rid of our gear,
We all wanted coffee, but not really here.
We had a nice meal, and some tales we did share.
Then headed back home, with not even a care.
I got into the house and walked down the hall.
Then found in my pocket, my sweet little ball.
I looked at my ball, feeling proud of myself,
And, with great pride and joy, placed him back on the shelf.
See this little chap, did not let me down,
He didn't get lost, he just stuck around.
He stayed out of mud, and away from the trees,
He didn't go hiding, digging under the leaves.
He just remained straight, without ducking and diving.
And helped me to reach, the perfection I'm striving.
He now lives with me here, in the hall, on the shelf.
But rests on a tee and looks after himself.
My little dear friend, who forever will be,
My little dear friend,
My golf ball and me.
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